Friday, February 19, 2010

Obama: All Americans to Live on Debt

Barack Obama has announced that he aims to prohibit natural resource extraction from a large part of the southwest. At the same time, he boasts that after seventy years of deficit spending the January unemployment rate of 9.7% proves that "stimulus" has stopped unemployment.

In a phone interview today, Mr. Obama announced that he aims to illegalize productive jobs and improve the economy through government spending and printing more money. "Jobs need not produce anything of value," Nancy Pelosi says. "Only reactionaries believe that work needs to produce something." Rather, according to Mr. Obama, "if we double the money supply, wealth will be doubled. With twice the number of dollars, we can afford to reduce output. The nation will become richer as we spend and go further into debt."

Tim Kaine, chair of the Democratic National Committee, agrees. "Progressives know that by borrowing, in the long term more money means greater wealth." Kaine said that he supports the Obama plan of mandating indebtedness of all Americans.

To implement the non-productive work policy, Mr. Obama is releasing an executive order. All productive work will be curtailed or eliminated. Future generations of Americans can choose from seven careers:

Mortgage lender
Real estate developer
School teacher
Investment banker
Trial attorney
Government bureaucrat
Drug and guidance counselor

All other forms of work will be eliminated. Americans will be required to borrow an unspecified sum each year. "Through the expansion of borrowing, all will become wealthy," according to Mr. Obama. "Anyone who tries to produce something will be subjected to IRS enforcement," he added.

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